Keeley’s March Challenge #21

Did Becoming a Parent Change Me?

It certainly changed my life!

Alan AJ
3 min readMar 21, 2023


Baby ultrasound scan from 2004
My eldest son’s first scan. Image provided by the author

Minutes after my first son was born, I was sitting in the hospital room holding him in my arms.

Then he opened his eyes and looked at me.

That’s when I felt a tremendous sense of responsibility.

Earlier this month, he turned 18.

When my second son was born about a year later, my sense of responsibility did not feel like it had doubled, which was a relief.

I’m not saying it was a case of, “Yeah, another one. Whatever.”

But I was already a parent by then. The change from not being a parent to being a parent had already taken place.

Having lost my dad when I was 22, I hoped my children would not lose their parents until they were much older. Tragically, however, their mum died when they were 7 and 8.

Given that my late wife and I were nearly 37 and 38 when our children were born, perhaps waiting so long to have children was not the best way to alleviate that worry.

My children have had a massive impact on my life. Everything changed from the moment they were born, and they became the main focus.



Alan AJ

Random life stories, opinions, and a dry sense of humour. A 55-year-old former electronics engineer and programmer in England. Previously 'Autistic Widower'.