Estranged Siblings | Family

It Is Hard for Me to Say This, but I Do Not Like My Eldest Sister

When I was young, I never imagined things would end up like this


Photo by Mercedes Bosquet on Unsplash

Make sure you are sitting comfortably and have a drink handy — this is going to be a long one!

I have two sisters. The nicer one, who I will call Judy, is seven years older than me and lives locally. There have been times that she has upset me, such as when she cleared our mum’s house and threw away sentimental items without asking me. But we still see each other and get along fairly well.

My other sister, who I will call Kay, is eleven years older. She has a very different personality and is the subject of this article.

Things were not bad in the early years

I grew up with a strong sense of family. The five of us lived together in a small bungalow, and even though we were not rich, it felt like everyone loved one another.

When I was young, the large age gap meant that I didn’t see much of Kay. She was usually in her room or not at home, and she rarely made time to play with me.

I remember how she was interested in material things. In her teens, she would carry a plate of toast to her bedroom, and pore over mail-order catalogues.

After Kay passed her driving test in the late 1970s, she took me for rides in her first car. My parents did not drive, so it was quite exciting.

Kay got married when I was ten years old, and she kept in close contact with us all. When she got her first house, she invited my parents to go and help with the decorating. I was so young that I did not get a choice — I had to go and help too. But I did not really mind.

Kay’s first husband was like the big brother I never had. He was interested in cars and electronics, and he taught me to drive long before the legal age. Kay was also interested in cars and technology, so we had things in common, especially when I reached my teens.

Intense weekend visits

Every Saturday and Sunday, Kay would visit our family home, usually with her husband, and tell us…



Alan (AJ) Autistic Widower

Former electronics engineer & programmer in England, 50-something with a dry sense of humour. Sharing stories & opinions. Tip jar: